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I write to inspire...

Positive Vibes List #1

I find that the more I focus on the happier positive things in life the hard trials are easier to take on…

My Positive List.. #1

Ability to pay for billsThis one has been on my mind a lot lately, with sudden bills from specialists & hospitals, I’m so grateful that Shane & I both have incomes to support us.

Finding  new yummy places to eatBetween Park Cafe for Breakfast & EvenStevens for Lunch we are pretty much in heaven around the clock

My JobI work with some of my closest friends, it doesn’t get much better than that

Feeding the Ducks at the Park

Staying up all night conversing with your best friend

Listening to PodcastsSerial Anyone?

Hugging a Baby Alpaca

Conquering Lake Blanche

Watching Summer Sunsets

Sunday Naps

Homemade Popcorn 

Dinner made by Shane


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Date Night Up in Park City


When you ask your husband to take a picture of you & the Alpaca

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Best Conference Quote


Lake Blanche

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Sunset Paradise


Park Walks


Shane is a Sushi Chef

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Feeding the Ducks @ dusk


Some More S’mores

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Summer isn’t summer without our late nights, campfires & best of friends.

Campfires are my thing & I love the smell of being outdoors & the smell of campfires.

And of course I love them because it reminds me of Shane & I’s second date ♥

Oh and lets not forget about the amazing treats!

So if you are like me, once you have a craving, YOU HAVE A CRAVING. And it doesn’t stop until you settle it, so of course mine involves chocolate..♥

So due to weather, health, or other reasons that we can’t always get our genuine campfire or our roasting sticks I had to improvise with last week’s craving of S’mores!

Introducing to you the S’more Bites!

These s’mores are perfect because they taste amazing & are perfect for those days when you don’t have the access to a campfire, plus you can make them in the comfort of your home.

The recipe below roughly makes about 16-18 s’mores bites, they are so incredible, tiny & perfect ♥

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Prep time: 2 minuets

Making Time: 10 minuets

Cleanup time: 2 minuets

You’ll need:

  • 7 graham crackers, finely crushed
  • 1/4 cup of powdered sugar
  • 6 tablespoons butter, melted
  • 2 Hershey’s Milk Chocolate candy bars, broken into individual squares
  • 12 large marshmallows, cut in half
  • mini cupcake tray
  • small mixing bowl
  • Large plastic bag*
  • rolling pin*
  • cooling rack*

* optional (see directions below)


Pre-heat your oven to 350•


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Place all seven graham crackers in a plastic bag, use rolling pin until they are a finely crushed, **this was just my method, you can finely crush them any way that you like**

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Melt your butter & mix in powdered sugar & graham cracker crumbs

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Lightly grease your mini cupcake pan & evenly distribute them until you run out, I’ve found out that you want to pack it down & fill in a good amount for the shell.

Bake them in the oven for 4-5 minuets, you’ll see the edges start to bubble (your kitchen will smell amazing!)

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While these are baking, I’ll take the time to break up my chocolates into little squares & cut my marshmallows (with scissors) in half

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Take the tray out of the oven & place 1 chocolate in each cup (they’ll start to melt, don’t worry!)

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You’ll do the same with the half cut marshmallow ( I found it easier to do the flat side down)

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Place them back in the oven on broil (for the golden marshmallow look) for 2-4 minuets (They’re almost done!!)

Watch them closely while you have them in the oven because they will change before your eyes & everyone’s oven is slightly different

smore edit(10 of 12)Place the delicious miracle on a cooling rack for 10-15 minuets, the trick is to sort of “pop” them out, I used a small spatula.


Perks to this is your entire kitchen will smell wonderful & I got wife points for making the best treat ever!

Originally I got this idea from Pintrest & adapted the recipe from thefirstyearblog.com

I want to hear everyone’s experience for making these! Seriously, my husband & I ate all of them in one night, they’re too amazing!

Side note, apparently I can’t even say the word s’mores right…I say sa-mores, I’ve been saying it like that my whole life and now my husband tells me!? Still can’t break the habit ha ha.


Update Heart Rate ♥

I felt like I needed to give everyone an update, I apologize for not taking the time to let everyone know my circumstances day to day. Hopefully this post will make a little more sense.

 More & more doctor appointments seem to rule out more & more conclusions.

I finally got in to see my Cardiologist on July 13th. That’s when he concluded that my ultra-sound on my heart had most likely been measured wrong. These results were taken about two weeks before & that’s where we had received the information about my enlarged heart & prolapsed valve.

Together we went over my heart monitor & he could see exactly where I had passed out, but there were no extra heart beats recorded therefore he ruled out an arithmetic heart beat.

Since I had been going through phases of pain throughout my body & since I had high counts of enzymes that could be caused by blood clots, he decided it would be best for me to get an ultra sound on my legs to check for blot clots. Along with remeasuring my heart and doing a Stress Test.

No trace or sign of blood clots showed on the ultra sound on my legs, but at this point who actually knows? The stress test sucked in all honesty, getting on a treadmill having the speed & incline increase every three minuets was pure hell. I stayed on as long as I could (fourth level) and then finally when I couldn’t breathe anymore I had to get off. From that test they found no signs of anything structurally wrong with my heart.

I have a couple more appointments but after that I’m done & haven’t scheduled anymore. I really can’t afford any more time or money into it. Obviously something is wrong but at this point I just don’t think we are going to find any more answers from doctors.

I don’t know if I would necessarily say that I am getting better more that my body is just adjusting to it’s new situation.

I’m hoping that I just slowly adjust & at this point just get better on my own. Some days I feel better than others, on those days Shane & I have started walk around Sugar House Park. The hills completely kill me & I’m very slow but I’m just grateful to be out.

On other days we are entertaining ourselves by making campfires, planning future adventures together & creating new meals to eat.

So many people have reached out to me these past two months, all with sincere concern and thoughtful words of encouragement. I just want to say that every single person has a special place in my heart.

Shane & I both have some much gratitude for the people who are in our lives & that care so much about us.

Thank you ♥


Finding Gratitude

Imagine that feeling of when someone sneaks up behind you & knocks the back of your knees, causing you to collapse.There’s that sudden drop in your body & you have quickly catch yourself.

That’s my analogy on how I feel when I pass out. Instead of a drop from my legs it’s a drop from my head.

Instead of catching myself, my entire body collapses into a huge pile of useless muscle. Without a warning my head drops & I have no control on where I land.

I’m never sure how long I’m unconscious for, I can usually hear people scrambling to come & find me.

Sometimes when I pass out I have just enough time to alert my husband, a friend or a co-worker before I drop.

It’s a terrifying feeling of no control when you slip into complete darkness & you wake up to people surrounding you.

You can literally feel their concerns & their worries, which usually puts me into some sort of emotional wreck of embarrassment.

At the beginning of June I was walking across my living room when all of a sudden the ground was coming towards my face. I came to consciousness to see my husband looking down at me a little confused. I tried to laugh it off with him, recalling on how I had passed out a lot when I was younger, even having a few seizures. It wasn’t until the next day at work, my body was still tense & my headache from yesterdays fall hadn’t gone away. Then without warning my head dropped & smacked my desk alerting my surrounding co-workers. Needless to say I went home.

In the course of the month of June I had a total of ten blackouts. With countless hours at the doctors, being hooked to multiple machines, monitors, several blood draws, IVs, CT Scans, there doesn’t seem to be a clear answer or a simple fix. Results seem to lead to my heart, where they found the right side of my heart enlarged, an irregular heartbeat & a prolapsed valve. We are patiently waiting, as there are more doctor appointments to go to and more tests to be taken. Answers just seem to be unknown.

I find myself going through phases of frustration, grief & just plainly feeling sorry for myself.

When I was put on a 24-hour heart monitor I looked like I had a bomb taped to my chest, with all the wires coming out of me I just stood in my bathroom & cried.

My patience seems to be is tested everyday when I can’t seem to do the laundry, wash dishes or even make the bed.

When summer is the time to be outside & to enjoy the sun but all I can do is sit in the shade because my body easily over-heats. Mad because if I’m too cold my body seems to shut down & I have no control over it. Frustrated because I have to regulate how much I eat because eating too much sends me almost into a literal coma. I just keep finding more and more things I can’t do because of pure exhaustion.

 If I had the energy scream I think I would, I can feel my body screaming inside of me out of frustration.

With every blackout my body seems to get worse and worse.

It’s been over a month.

I’ve gone through stages of complete dizziness & exhaustion to not being able to breathe, extreme headaches to the worst back pain I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve been advised not to drive since I don’t have any sign of when I could pass out.

I just want to go back to practicing yoga without the lightheaded feelings or  to go on a long run to clear my head. But I physically can’t. It’s a constant battle of disappointment in my brain when I have every desire to have my body function but it won’t.

When people ask me how I’m doing all I can really say is fine. I don’t want other people to worry & I don’t want to worry myself. I try to stay positive by finding quotes to read.

You are braver than you believe & stronger than you think

If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you

Inhale the future, exhale the past

Broken crayons still color

This too shall pass

 As many frustrations that I have had the same amount in gratitude over-whelms me.

I feel so blessed by my sweet husband who does everything he possibly can to get my mind off the exhaustion & who has simply holds me when the frustration turns to sadness.

My parents, who listen to hours of venting, making doctors’ appointments & check up on me constantly throughout the day.

Sincere appreciation goes to my manager who is so understanding of my situation, especially when I have leave early to sudden doctor appointments.

Also to my co-workers who are also my friends, who are kind, supportive, & help me throughout the day.

My friends who have called me & gone out of their way to make things easier for me, I feel so lucky to have such amazing people in my life.

I’m extremely grateful for the amount of time doctors have put in to see me & how I know they are trying their best to find out what’s wrong.

I find myself overly thankful for the moments that I’m feeling slightly better.

One of those moments happened to be my 23rd birthday. Where I was doing well enough to go on the jet-ski that my husband surprised me with. 

Other times I have been good enough to attend friends’ weddings, my little brother’s graduation & a camping trip with my husband.

I feel all the prayers from my family & my friends who are  and have been watching me this past month.

Even though as of right now everything feels plateaued, through all the love, faith & encouragement, I feel stronger.

 I love all of you.


Alice: How long is forever?

White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second.





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